It will be easier for Ohio townships to clean up their neighborhoods, and Bullfrogs and Spotted Salamanders are a big part of the new law!

When signed by Gov. Strickland, the Bullfrog (Rana catesbeiana) and the Spotted Salamander (Ambystoma maculatum) will become the official amphibians of Ohio (well, one of them anyway) as a result of resolutions hidden in a new Nuisance Law bill just passed by the Ohio House.

The new Nuisance Law is not nearly as interesting as the amphibians, but briefly stated its provisions include that there shall be an initial certified letter to offending property owners with overgrown grass, weeds or garbage, giving the owner seven days to abate the problem. Should a second or subsequent notices within a twelve month period be necessary, the townships may deliver them simply by first class mail with a four day period for abatement. In both cases, if the abatement is not provided by the owner the township can perform the work and add the cost to the owner’s tax duplicate.

Bla-bla-bla… ‘nuff said. Onto the amphibians. A subject nearer and dearer to my heart.

First of all, the resolutions, as written, are confusing.  

A. maculatum (commonly called a Spotted Salamander; Class – Amphibia; Order – Caudata; Family – Ambystomatidae (37 species)) is here and forever named in this bill as the official Amphibian of Ohio. Period. End of story.

R. catesbeiana (the common Bullfrog) (Class – Amphibia; Order – Anura; Family – Ranidae (346 species)) is named the official, well, “frog.” Period. End of story.

Does this mean that:

• the General Assembly does not realize that R. catesbeiana ( a frog) is also an amphibian?
• the General Assembly does not care that R. catesbeiana ( a frog) is also an amphibian?
• A. maculatum is to be considered a better representive of Amphibia than R. catesbeiana?
• the General Assembly really means for A. maculatum to just be the official representative of the Order -Caudata, which includes salmanders; and R. catesbeiana to be our official rep of the Order - Anura, which includes frogs and toads?
• if you were asked to name the official amphibian of Ohio, and you answered, “Bullfrog!” You’d be wrong?

See what I mean? Confusing!

Second of all, who chose these particular species and why?  

To be honest, I cannot argue too aggressively with the choice of the Spotted Salamander (A. maculatum). It’s found nearly everywhere in Ohio. It’s cute - as cuddley as a salamander is allowed to be, and almost comical in appearance with its clownish yellow spots on black background. This little guy would certainly be on my short list of five candidates.

But, given the opportunity I wasn’t given, I would certainly make a case for our Northern Dusky Salamander (Desmognathus fuscus)  who takes no back seat in the cuteness category; and even for the rarer cliff dwelling Green Salamander (Aneides aeneus) who would make a colorful stamp indeed. However, of all the Ohio salamanders the most spectacular has to be the Northern Red Salamander (Pseudotriton ruber ruber) with its crimson red body, dainty black spots and bright yellow eyes. Now there’s a salamander! Even the name is daunting.

If we’re talking about names, we have to include my final salamander nominee, Cryptobranchus alleganiensis alleganiensis, aptly called the Eastern Hellbender. If you’ve ever come face to face with this 24 inch Triassic monster while wading in a clear stream bed you won’t argue with either it or its name. But, the Hellbender might be the best choice for another unnerving reason. It’s on the verge of extinction in Ohio and needs our attention and protection.

Those are my salamander nominations, and it brings us to the humdrum, one might even say vapid, choice of the Bullfrog as our official ‘frog’ or ‘Anuran but not Amphibian’ as the case may be. I have grave reservations with this choice. Other than being a great protein source for reptiles and mammals of all types, the Bullfrog is just a clunker of a frog with its insipid, insect-like, raspy, guttural, three syllable “jug-o-rum” call throughout the hot lazy days of summer. The Bullfrog isn’t likely to inspire anyone to do anything more than take a nap or eat a fat meal. Is this the picture of Ohio you want to paint?

Did they even once consider the amazing Gray Tree Frog (Hyla versicolor)? This energetic little Hylid is at home in the tallest of trees, and not only has this incredible ability to change its body color and pattern variation to resemble the background on which it sits (surely a gift to be admired by slick politicians), it has a voice to rival that of Frankie Valli (remember “Sherry“). The high pitched trill of this hylid pierces through Ohio forests and back yard wood lots all spring and summer evenings long.

And, if H. versicolor is the Frankie Valli of frogdom, then the American Toad (Bufo americanus) has to be its Maria Callas. Yes, the ugly, wart ridden, toxic poison oozing toad may just have the most beautiful voice in the frog/toad kingdom, and in chorus with hundreds of others Bufos and a pond or two of Spring Peepers (Pseudacris crucifer crucifer), a spring night can rival a ticket to Teatro Alla Scala.

If that isn’t reason enough, the lowly toad should be canonized for its enormous capacity to eat thousands upon thousands of Ohio garden invaders in a single season. It voraciously gormandizes garden slugs, flies, grubs, beetles, bugs, grasshoppers, cutworms and all manner of creeping evilies while treading lightly about the garden crops. Throw your pesticides away and grab a couple of toads. (It is not true that touching one will give you warts.)

It seems to me that before important, forever (or at least difficult to change) decisions like these are made, Ohioans should be given the opportunity to weigh in. I don’t remember being asked. In any case, these kinds of resolutions should never, ever, ride in rough shod on the coat-tails of ‘Nuisance Legislation.’

Perhaps some politicians should be ridden out – as nuisances themselves?

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Read the full text of Substitute House Bill Number 393 here.